#i'll never forget seeing them for the first time irl
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You want to know how bad my memory is?
I was writing last night and I just straight up forgot that Sanji exists. I have been watching this show since 2012, he was my fave Strawhat outside of Luffy pre-TS, and I FORGOT HE EXISTED.
I was like 'hm yes well the ones who would understand are Nami and Robin... W- wasn't there one more I was thinking of a moment ago? Wasn't there another one who'd Get It?????'
'it's not Chopper. Definitely not Usopp. And it's not Zoro. That's all the remaining Strawhats at this point in the story. So... Why am I convinced I'm forgetting someone? Let's go through the arcs in my head agai- OH MY GOD, I FORGOT SANJI'
#When I tell you my memory is shit... 😭 I used to own a Sanji shirt. What the fuck??#When that post about the memory issues finally leaves my queue#Like I joke about it but this shit can be genuinely terrifying. Like knowing my brain is getting worse. Knowing I'm probably forgetting#Seriously important things and just 'oops I can't remember haha'#It's scary.#I'll never get better because I'll just relive the pain over and over because my brain refuses to remember the help and progress I make#Every day I wake up back at step 1 it's so depressing and scary and horrifying and I hate it#I can never process anything bc I just forget and if I do remember it's like a punch to the chest for the first time every time#And people get SO sick of you after a while. Constantly asking for help. Never remembering anything. They get so annoyed with you.#Anyway. On a lighter note (not actually) I'm trying out a new one-shot :)#Not to speak ill of the 'soon-to-be' dead but Garp was a shit grandfather#So I was like What If Me And Luffy Had The Same Reaction#Because self love starts in recognizing your self through the other god damn it#Even if I finish this idk if I'll post it bc of how personal it is but it has been very cathartic to write#Then again I could just publish it anonymously so my irl friends won't see it. No harm no foul.#I (kid) once pushed my mom (grown adult) out of my room when she caused me to have a meltdown so I could 100% see Luffy doing the same thin#In my defense she had a habit of taunting me and destroying my stuff to punish me after inciting meltdowns and I just wanted to be alone#I was like 7 years old at the time (hell year hell year) so I doubt I actually hurt her. She just looked surprised. I remember that.#Sometimes I wonder why I identify so much with werewolves and then I remember ah yes. The childhood of being treated like a monster.#Like a freak because when people kept pushing your boundaries you'd rather bite than let them do whatever they want to you#Oh boo hoo such a terrible thing for a child to be... Protective of themselves...#ANYWAY. like I said this wasn't going to be much lighter.#I want Luffy to punch the lights out of Garp to protect his friends. Not even in-canon just in this fic#Ik in-canon Garp is a complex guy and loads of fans love him but... Smash eggs make sandwiches know what I'm saying?#Yeah GROOVY
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(Eng Prompt List)
Day 1: Moon and Sun | Space AU | Royal AU - “My Missa”
Day 2: Vampires | Mermaids | Gods - “I'll be here when you're ready”
Day 3: Mafia | Past lives | Cat Missa and Crow Philza - “As long as you are with me you will never feel alone”
Day 4: Confession | Emergency | Murder - “The sky is the limit”
Day 5: Language of flowers | Hanahaki | Spy X Family AU - “No one ever told me that love hurt”
Day 6: First times | Emergency room | Separation - “It's not goodbye, it's see you soon”
Day 7: Disease | Hot chocolate | Comfort - “The family is forever”
Extra prompts:
Pirates
Anniversary
Red thread of destiny
“I love you, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner”
Family
Ghibli
Lullaby
“I would never choose to love another”
New parents
DeathDuo/Pissa Week
Reglas/Rules:
(Esp)
Entonces eh decidido que haré este reto agradezco a mi amigo Irl y a los chicos de Discord por apoyarme y darme ideas para la lista! Así que aquí vamos…
Las dos primeras imágenes contienen los prompts para esta Pissa/DeathDuo Week, contiene dos prompts y un diálogo. Puedes elegir el prompt que más te guste o combinarlos para darle tu propio toque personal :D
Las reglas de este reto son las siguiente:
1. La escritura y el arte están permitidos, puede ser solo uno o ambos como más se le acomode a cada uno.
2. No @ a los cubitos irl, tanto en vuestro arte como en vuestros fics (en el caso de que lo suban a X o Insta)
3. El contenido Dark y sensible como; Yandere, Personajes posesivos, Daño a uno mismo, Sangre, Muerte, Etc… está permitido siempre cuando se etiquete correctamente. (En caso de que tengas una idea y no sabes si está permitido puedes enviarme un mensaje)
4. No es necesario hacer los siete días, puedes hacer cuantos quieres y con los que te sientas cómodo.
5. Este reto es tanto de Pissa (pareja romántica) como DeathDuo (pareja platónica) por lo que los prompts están hechos para que sean cómodos para los dos lados de la comunidad, solo por favor etiqueten debidamente si es Pissa o DeathDuo.
6. La semana que he escogido para este reto es del 1 de Junio al 7 de Junio, aunque pueden tener todo el mes de Junio para publicar su arte/escritura
7. Y la última regla pero no menos importante… no olviden divertirse!
(Eng)
So I've decided that I will do this challenge I thank my friend Irl and the guys on Discord for supporting me and giving me ideas for the list! So here we go...
The first two images contain the prompts for this Pissa/DeathDuo Week, it contains two prompts and a dialogue. You can choose the prompt you like the most or combine them to give it your own personal touch :D
Also, if one of the days doesn't suit you or you don't feel comfortable with that prompt there is a list of nine extra prompts that you can also choose from.
The rules of this challenge are this:
1. Writing and art are allowed, it can be just one or both as it suits you best.
2. no @ to the irl, in your art and in your fics (in case you upload it to X or Insta) 3.
3. Dark and sensitive content such as; Yandere, Possessive characters, Self harm, Blood, Death, Etc... is allowed as long as it is tagged correctly. (In case you have an idea and don't know if it is allowed you can message me).
4. You don't have to do all seven days, you can do as many as you want and as many as you feel comfortable with.
5. This challenge is both Pissa (romantic couple) and DeathDuo (platonic couple) so the prompts are made to be comfortable for both sides of the community, just please tag properly if it's Pissa or DeathDuo.
6. The week I have chosen for this challenge is from June 1 to June 7, although you can have the whole month of June to post your art/writing.
7. And last but not least rule... don't forget to have fun!
#crow post#🐦⬛ post#qsmp#pissa#qsmp au#qsmp pissa#qsmp missa#qsmp philza#pissa nation#pissa au#qsmp death duo#death duo#deathduo#pissa/deathduo week#pissa week#death duo week#deathduoweek
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I NEED MORE BURNED CHEESE CONTENT, could you please feed this poor hungry soul some burning cheese kids? Imagine the SUPER protective burn during Golden's pregnancy, or, or helping her with the children's dough (and already planning the next children)
The kids will be here soon, I promise :( they're at school right now, Spice and Golden have to go pick them up. It won't be too long. (I have something important to do irl and that takes priority. I'm hoping I have time at the end of this week to sit down and try to draw them. Everything else is ready, their characters sheets are done, got their whole lives on lock lol. All that's missing is to put them on paper. I only have about half a gram of artistic talent so I'll really be pushing myself here... but I want you all to see them really badly, so I'm happy to do it haha)
I don't have to imagine anything, I'm already there with you, buddy :') I hc them as already married by the time the kids come along, and yeah... Spice is SUPER overprotective lol. Very, very gentle and doting, but fiercely protective and downright hostile towards literally everyone else as a consequence of that protectiveness. He won't leave her side unless absolutely necessary, and he'll be snapping at whoever forced him to leave her and then rushing back to her as soon as he can. (She feels kind of claustrophobic at times, because he literally becomes her shadow during those 9 months lol.) But really, he's at her beck and call from beginning to end. She's craving something? He gets it for her. She's sore? Hugs and massages and nice baths. She's tired? He carries her to bed and doesn't allow anyone to bother her for any reason for the whole rest of the day. She can't sleep? He's up with her all night, talking to her and soothing her and doing whatever he can to lull her back to sleep because she needs all the rest she can get. He's Peak Husband during this time lol.
(He's just... beyond happy. I also hc this as being after Spice has redeemed himself and been accepted back into society, but still not having 100% let go of his dark past (which he never truly will, you can never fully forget something like that, unfortunately). So really, he takes this as one of the greatest rewards for his change of heart that he's ever gotten, and as a sign that he really has become better. The day Golden came to him and told him she was pregnant was the best day of his whole, entire life. He fell to his knees and cried when she told him. Not only has he managed to forsake his destructive nature and instead create something, but he's engaged in the most profound act of creation there is: he helped create a life. And he created this precious life with the woman he loves, who helped kickstart his journey to redemption in the first place. It just shows how far he's come, you know? From a cruel tyrant to a beloved king to two peoples... from a bloodthirsty psychopath destined to live and die alone to a much more even-tempered man who has atoned for his sins and learned to be a good friend and person again, as well as became a beloved husband and father... still a force for destruction, but now in a positive way, not a negative one. It's been a very long road, but it really feels like he reached the end, and this victory is sweeter than any he's had before.)
...And same thing if they're cookies, honestly lol. Peak Husband. Burning Sweetheart Cookie here, jumping for joy when Golden tells him she wants a child. He goes hunting for a Witch Oven of his own accord, going to quite literally every corner of the earth until he finds one, then they go to it and he's just like a kid on Christmas Day lol. They're making the batter together and he's just grinning that big, pointy grin he's got, beaming like the sun. How much of his dough should they mix in? How much of hers? What will happen, what sort of child will they create? Golden thinks he's so cute lol. He won't even sit still while the kid is baking in the oven; if he's not pacing back and forth in anticipation, he's picking Golden up and swinging her around and smothering her with kisses, and going on and on and on about how great the kid will be and how they'll be a fine warrior just like him and Golden. He's yanking the oven door open as soon as that timer goes off and they both hear crying... she has to tell him to slow down so they can both take the baby out together (he was so excited that he was just going to do it by himself lol)
TL;DR: The woobification of Burning Spice Cookie on this blog is complete, he is now Burning Sweetheart Cookie, reformed villain who loves his bird wife and their babies with all of his spicy heart
And to feed you a bit of extra content (and to keep everyone on the edge of their seats), I shall feed you a bit of information about the kiddies:
There are two of them, a son and a daughter. The son is the older one by a few years
I did research and took inspiration from both Egyptian and Hindu mythology for their design and some of their personality traits (I will explain this in detail soon. I actually really enjoyed learning about these religions, even if for a ridiculous reason, and I look forward to rambling about all the little bits and pieces of myths I cobbled together to make these two lol)
Each one resembles a parent quite a bit (but I will not specify which child looks like which parent yet)
One of them has wings like Golden Cheese does
Something really bad happens to the son in the future
Here are their soulstone descriptions, because yes, I really did go above and beyond creating these little guys lol
"This stone holds a piece of [REDACTED]'s soul. It feels warm and light, like a rare, refreshing breeze on a desert morning... But is that a single grain of self-doubt, nestled deep within its core?"
"This stone holds a piece of [REDACTED]'s soul. Though it burns very hot and bright, and feels difficult to handle at first, the kindness and unyielding strength resonating from within are nevertheless unmistakable."
#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#burningcheese#goldenspice#burning spice crk#golden cheese crk
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in the heart of the jungle.
A 'CITY OF LIGHTS' DRABBLE.
pairing: jeon jungkook x reader
warnings: smut (18+), gangster squad au, mentions of mafia shit, flashbacks, domesticity, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), a happy ending yall :'>
masterlist + disclaimers.
note: i'm alive, friends!!!! 😭 sorry it took so long to post this but things have been hectic irl. i'll make a separate post about it but anyways here's the finale!! i can't believe this is the final drabble 😭 thank u guys for sticking around. hope u enjoyed this cute lil drabble series & don't forget feedback is highly appreciated <3
— previous – ain't no god on my streets.
"Looking for this?"
You look up to see an extremely attractive man holding up your bracelet. You don't remember taking it off.
"Thanks," you say, taking it from him, thinking you must've accidentally lost it earlier when you and Taehyung first arrived at the restaurant.
"Sure," he responds and you're about to head back to your boyfriend's table when the man decides to introduce himself. "I'm Jungkook, by the way."
You tell him your name but you don't leave it at that, intrigue making you want to see where your conversation goes.
"Say, Jungkook, I bet you got a good story behind that handsome smile of yours."
"Yeah, sure, I got some stories," he says, smiling smugly. "Let's see, I almost got kicked off a plane once. Slept with one of the flight attendants in the restroom but turns out she was the pilot's girlfriend."
He turns to you. "Are you weak in the knees yet?"
"Sure I am," you hum, staring at his silver watch and silver hoop earrings. "What's your racket, handsome?"
"Me?" He shrugs. "Well, I'm actually a Bible salesman."
He's so full of shit. But, he's hot.
"A Bible salesman, huh," you huff. "So you wanna take me away from all of this," you gesture to the fancy restaurant and the posh customers, "and make an honest woman out of me?"
He shakes his head.
"No, doll. I was just hoping to take you to bed."
You wake up with a start, the charms on your bracelet – the very same bracelet from your dream – digging into your wrist as you're clenching your fist with more strength than usual.
The reason? No other than the man behind you.
"Good," he says, his breath tickling your ear as he spoons you, "you're finally awake."
It takes you a heartbeat to fully register why you woke up but then you feel fingers moving in and out of you at such a pleasurable pace.
Three fingers, to be specific. And tattooed ones, at that.
"J-Jungkook?" you stutter, mind half asleep and half focused on the sensation.
"You're so wet, doll," he says, groaning when you clench around his fingers. "Fuck!"
You reach behind you, fully awake now, and grab a hold of his hard member. You pump it a few times before he finally gets the message.
"Lift your leg up," he orders, fingers pulling out of you. "Higher, doll– Yeah, that's it. Good girl."
You feel more juices dribble out of you with the praise and Jungkook takes full advantage of this, smearing them all over his painfully hard dick. You whine when he purposely nudges your clit with the head.
Finally, he pushes in.
You both moan, the feeling of being connected already so familiar yet it never fails to amaze the both of you everytime. You don't move yet, savoring the warm feeling for a few more seconds before you finally get impatient.
"Jungkook, please," you plead when you feel him twitch inside you.
Your lover complies without second thoughts, thrusting in and out of your pussy, languidly at first but then slowly picking up the pace.
You moan loudly, reaching behind you to place your hands behind his head and gently pull his hair. He grunts appreciatively before his hand reaches down your front and plays with your clit for you.
His thrusts become faster, his cock slipping out of you in between sloppy thrusts but he manages to put it back in before you could even cry in protest.
It's messy, sloppy, desperate, passionate.
It doesn't take long before you're creaming around him, pussy walls contracting to milk his orgasm out of him. He follows right after, painting your insides white and giving you all he's got.
You're both spent, panting, but he doesn't pull out right away, knowing you like it like this. Instead, he kisses your temple tenderly and hugging you close, knowing you like the closeness.
"I love you," he whispers freely.
"I love you, too," you respond just as freely, the days of hiding your love far behind you.
He grins before looking at the clock. "We're gonna be late."
You pout, making it hard for him to resist you when you ask, "a couple more minutes, please?"
It was all too easy for Jungkook to agree with your request. But in hindsight, the two of you should've known better because now, you're getting ready in a hurry, having lost track of time.
Your lover watches you as you're rummaging through your drawers looking for your bracelet, and it reminds of him of the very first night you met.
He remembers trying to charm you, but he most especially remembers you seeing right through his act. He remembers thinking you were way too good for him, so he kept telling himself it was all for the case and you were just a means to crack it.
But most of all, he remembers all that has happened in between, and he couldn't be any happier that this thing with you worked out in the end.
Jungkook shakes out of his daydream to hear you calling for him.
"Looking for this?" he asks you, smirking.
You turn to see him holding your bracelet in a pleasant sense of deja vu.
"As a matter of fact, I am," you respond, grinning and walking towards him. When you come nearer, he takes your hand and clasps the bracelet securely around your wrist for you before kissing your palm.
"Are you ready?" he asks you.
You nod, grabbing onto his arm as you leave your shared apartment to meet with the rest of his former crew for dinner.
It's been seven months since that fateful day. They managed to bring Taehyung behind bars with all the evidence they accumulated after months of investigating, but it was your detailed testimony that kept him locked and away. Geunsoo was honored in a tribute and was laid to rest. Finally, Taehyung's case and reign over the undercity finally came to an end.
Your testimony definitely helped with your involvement in the case and the accusations against you, but Jungkook and the guys also fought like hell for your innocence. In the end, it all worked out and you were finally free.
Free to live, free to love, and free to be with Jungkook.
Now, as you sit in the car with him on the driver's seat, you stare out the window and at the city lights.
The city is always beautiful any time of the day but for you, it's much more of a marvel at night. And as you stare at the blinking city lights before you, you think that things will finally be alright.
COPYRIGHT 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
#bts x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader#jeon jeongguk x reader#jeongguk x reader#bts fic#bts imagines#jeon jungkook fic#jeon jungkook imagines#jungkook fic#jungkook imagines#jeon jeongguk fic#jeon jeongguk imagines#jeongguk fic#jeongguk imagines#bts x you#bts x y/n#jeon jungkook x you#jeon jungkook x y/n#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#jeon jeongguk x you#jeon jeongguk x y/n#jeongguk x you#jeongguk x y/n#cat.writes
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Hey funny story: I haven't been around Tumblr at all for months, but today someone told me menalez had deactivated or something so I came on here and looked it up. First result was a post by you, i checked out your blog and wouldn't you know it your most recent post had you defending me post mortem lmfao. I sent an anon to the other woman too but it seems she won't post it so to clarify to you: when I supposedly said "studies showing violence suffered by bisexuals are cringe and useless" what I remember thinking about that is that those studies that I've seen are never used to try to understand why bisexuals suffer such insane rates of violence (more than homosexuals) and trying to stop it. I've only seen them be used as battering rams in discourse when homosexuals criticize bisexuals. Which is crazy for such a serious issue and totally trivializes it lol. Also that my explanation for it was that such studies show that many abused people incorrectly id as bi for a time. You can disagree or wtv just those were my points, she made it sound like I'm cheering on women beating if they're bi or something. Also your defense of me (thanks queen lol) is accurate if you were wondering. I used to be sorta pro strict separatism but I outgrew the anger/ denial phase of "most women will partner with men" and reached acceptance. Most people are built for romantic partnership, that's just human nature, I can't be hating het women just because their lot in life in that means they're more likely to be abused. Just because I'm not drawn to men, or even much to romance, doesn't mean I should act like that's everyone else too and judge them on that standard, I accept reality and want women to be safe within that rather than pointlessly hate on them and get all worked up because some women have boyfriends..
Well I'm also a mean asshole, I'm sure you noticed, and I definitely would give the bi girlies on radblr a hard time here at the time lol. I don't have the "one side" sort of takes on this divide on radblr. It was funny but I can't feel the energy to that anymore since leaving tumblr, way too few bis or gays irl to care about that stuff. But at the end of the day these are my actual takes on all that disk horse. Funny to see it immediately on such a causal stroll around here lol
-sleep3r4gent
QUEEN I used to follow you ♡ at least when I was crypto a few years back I did.
Also, I'm glad you clarified because the way some women on here seem to hallucinate things they read almost makes me feel insane as well. Like you sending an ask saying you never thought of a certain perspective is not indicative of you agreeing and obviously one can change their opinions over time.
I really have no opinion either way tbh, I myself am straight and in a relationship, and have had others on my last blog send some anons calling me a "dick worshipper" and other misogynistic BS, but they stopped once I didn't let it bother me much. It's so obviously a group of trolls that it's embarrassing that they still believe it enough to keep bringing back the same users, some like you who aren't even misogynistic, to further their persecution complex.
It even is more annoying because these are the women who made Mena/Moideater leave, the above drama is a big reason why. The way radblr will still reblog posts from very racist blogs and not bat an eye but then freak out over a clique of women who aren't even radfems really does show what demographic makes up this site.
I know it gets exhausting to be involved in arguments, but it's nice to know you're still somewhat around. I hope you, Mena and Moid come back someday. If not I understand. But I'll never forget any of them and I haven't forgotten you 😭😭😭
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Vessel and the New Lore
So the new messages got me thinking and connecting dots. I don't know coherent this will sound, but I think there's something here? Anyways. Something about the relationship Vessel has with himself vs. The Mask.
I thought it'd be interesting to link the parallels between the Room Bellow show and the Fall For Me video messages, with the new ones and the album. Long post ahead so I'll put a cut somewhere.
(This is the second time I'll be writing this cus tumblr decided to be a hoe and deleted my entire draft so if it seems weird, you know. Pro tip: never use the app for long posts.)
Disclaimer: I'm in no way endorsing or encouraging any type of discourse about Vessel's irl identity and/or other [Redacted] and such. Unfortunately I do know things, but not everyone does. Respect the band; don't spoil it for others. If you know, keep it to yourself.
So, starting with the first message:
Mask: Why am I here? What is my purpose in all of this? Vessel: Your purpose is twofold. You protect me, from them, and you also protect them from me. Mask: How is it that I serve to protect anyone from anything, that makes no sense. Vessel: In order for all of this to work there has to be a certain boundary in place. They need to be able to project themselves onto this, without anyone else's identity getting in the way. In turn, I need to be able to show my true self to them in a way that does not compromise their ability to connect. Mask: So that's what I am? A boundary? Vessel: Yes.
We have here a confirmation of what he has told us many times before, either indirectly or not. The Mask/the Vessel persona serves as a way for him to connect and engage with us, while keeping both parties safe. We get to project onto and take from him some sort of comfort and catharsis, without any external factors to influence and skew the way we interpret his music, and He gets to expose and deal with his pain and negative thoughts in a protected environment. Who he is is irrelevant, we're merely here to share and understand each other.
Through the anonymity the mask offers, he is free to be as vulnerable and open with us as he wants, while keeping his identity safely stored away. The Mask serves as the physical reminder of how much we are allowed to know about him, and in return, how far he can (or should) expose himself without compromising his true identity. By living as Vessel and forgetting himself, he is ironically free to bare his most fragile and imperfect parts of himself on display (much like how we're all infinitely more honest about our struggles behind a fake online name than in irl.)
(curiously, this seems to be a contradiction to Higher's second verse, which feeds into the idea that Sleep is not the protector Vessel sometimes claims Them to be - "With all that you believe / You still refuse to shelter me")
From the Room Bellow:
"I experienced a great deal of pain in my life, however I do not believe I have suffered as you have suffered. Perhaps that Is another reason why we are here. At the very least, we have all suffered."
Lore wise, we are told time and time again that Vessel is a "sacred guardian", a messenger, a weapon, a tool - a physical vessel - for Sleep and Their message. He is the answer to Sleep's necessity for connection with us. And for that to work, he willingly gives up his identity for Sleep. For us.
Mask: I don't believe you. I believe there is more to it than that. I believe you are afraid of something. Vessel: We are all afraid of something, are we not? Mask: What is it you are so afraid they will see? Vessel: That I am exactly like everyone else. ... Vessel: I think I am afraid of becoming you. Mask: What does that even mean? Vessel: My life is becoming gradually consumed by you. Before long, all that I am will be contained within you. Then, one day, when I no longer wish to wear you, there will be nothing else left.
"I am afraid, are you afraid? I want to understand what it is to let go." (Fall For Me)
At the end of the day, Vessel is just some guy - he fears, and aches, and bleeds the same as us. We're equals. But as Vessel, he can't allow himself to crack, to break the illusion. As Vessel (and to connect to the lore, as the vessel of a god), he poses as someone we can look up to, someone who's there to carry our pain for us, almost like a symbiotic relationship of sorts - we feed on each other's emotions and energies.
From the Room Bellow:
"To love oneself is not the easy task we are sometimes told it is. (...) My own path towards greater self acceptance is paved with the art that I create. It is a path I continue to stumble down at the expense of everything else."
Without getting too much into it, it seems Vessel/Sleep Token were created as a sort of coping mechanism to deal with whatever it is that He went through. And he seems to have achieved that - he escaped his former self and became "Vessel", someone who's allowed to cry and rage and let his feeling loose. Someone who receives praise and comfort for it, someone who is finally understood.
Except that somehow, that same safety the Mask offered him backfired. Because how can you tell what's you and what's not? It appears that the lines between Vessel vs. Him have blurred beyond recognition. Because "Nothing lasts forever", so once ST ends, and Vessel is no longer a necessity, who does he become? Can he go back to his old self? Is there even a self to go back to?
Do you ever believe that we can turn into different people? It's getting harder to be myself. Do you wish that you loved me? Could we ever release? Is it better to just not feel?
I think it's worth mentioning DYWTYLM. Usually when I listen to it, I just interpret as being about self-love/esteem, suicidal thoughts, insecurities, yada yada yada, BUT! I think it kinda fits this right?? Like a conversation between Vessel and Him, the guy behind the mask.
And really, if you think about it, I think this dialogue is the basis of what TMBTE is. It's Vessel facing all these different facets of himself, the past versions, the ugly sides, coming to terms with them and learning to move on. And in the end, we see he finally does realize, albeit somewhat reluctantly, that there is more to it, than he can "be someone new", even if it means he needs to shed and let go of past versions of himself.
(of course, this is putting aside the whole trilogy and the story we've been told about Sleep/Vessel/Whatever romantic entanglement he was involved in. i'm merely giving this some other meaning and choosing to look through a very specific lens. call it a parallel universe if you want)
It's him accepting that although there may not be a version of himself to come back to, his Eden so to speak, there is finally something more waiting for him. But I'll get more into it later.
Also worth mentioning, this part of conversation-
Mask : Do you think they want you to cry? Do you think they like it? Vessel : Not as such, I think they just want to know that I am feeling something, feeling what they are feeling, perhaps. Mask : Do you think that this amount of crying is healthy for you? Vessel: I don't know. But at least I feel something, if I don't feel anything than why would I even do this?
-seems to be directly co-related to those lines on DYWTYLM. He wonders if maybe would be better not to feel at all, as if really asking himself, "should I continue to live as Vessel?", because that is his/The Mask's function.
(I almost forgot to mention the "Smile back at me" / "I can only ever see them smiling. That's good, I want them to smile." co-relations, but you see where I'm going right?")
Mask: It seems you have forgotten who you are. Before you had me you were nothing. All of this artifice, all this pathetic conjecture about your identity, it is nothing but a manifestation of how short-sighted and solipsistic you have become. I lifted you from misery and obscurity. You would be better to become me. You are nothing without me. You always were nothing without me.
"I am nothing without this music. I am nothing without this mask." (Room Bellow)
Sleep is a dickhead. And there it is - another confirmation of what we all assumed, of what he has also told us many times before in different words. Vessel, or better yet, Him, struggles with imposter syndrome, and a part of him seems to believe his worth is exclusively tied to his ability to create music and perform. Because who matters is Vessel, not Him. The praise and adoration, the glory, belongs to solely Vessel (in-lore, to Sleep).
He does not matter. He is insignificant. He is nothing.
So it makes sense to see how much he wishes to be someone else. How dependent he on his Mask (on Sleep). He can't shed that new identity away, because somehow, it became is ONLY identity. And yet, he knows that one day that must happen. And from a creative/artist standpoint, when you expose yourself the way he does into your art, almost bleeding into it, if that outlet is taken away, you really are left with nothing.
(yall, read the poem "about the PEN conference" by Bukowski).
"The truth is, I am ugly, I am inadequate, I am lost. I am no God." (Fall For Me)
And can I just say, how incredibly heartbreaking it is to hear him talk about himself like that? I have so, so much love and respect for Ves, it's almost ridiculous to think he is only worth the weight of his mask. I would give him a million hugs if I could. Whether or not he still believes that, I hope he one day can look at himself the way we do, and be proud and happy of the amazing human that he is.
I also think that, and this is just me rambling, their sudden explosion to fame must've taken some sort of toll of sorts. It must be SUCH an amazing feeling to see this many people connect and dedicate themselves to something you created, to be able to read between the lines of you thoughts, but it must just equally as scary. Suddenly there's SO many eyes on you, demanding and picking apart every gesture. Viciously clawing at the mask for a glimpse of the fragile soul within. It must not be easy to cope - and this goes to everyone in Sleep Token. They have to deal with so much unfairness, it's disgusting.
Vessel: You. Are. Wrong. In the end, my fractured sense of self was only another piece of fuel for the fire that burns in the eyes of these people before us. They too are pained. They too not know who they truly are. They are each stood alone on a stage of their own. And yet, they are here. United by that sense of never truly belonging. They see something beyond their own bleak horizons. And they reach for it. Together. So let us join now. To reflect their joy and to serve as a conduit for their anguish. To swallow their fear. To Worship.
"So for now let me serve as a living drama of your pain. If we are to be submerged then let us be submerged together." (Fall For Me)
And this is the part that really breaks me. He knows how much we need this, how much we rely on his music, on his words. He fights against his own claims that he has no value - he serves a purpose and that purpose is to serve the audience. Us. To take our struggles, our desires, and make it his own. To basically serve as a sacrifice for our well-being. To suffer, to feel together. To serve as a living drama of OUR pain.
"I will smile through the agony for you".
Because in the end, we're all equally broken. Because that's what the Mask is for, the anonymity, the mystery, the band - for us to "project ourselves" onto him, onto them. They are vessels, servants, worshippers of a god who shelters them; much like how we interact with their music, much like how Vessel thinks his purpose is for.
(and I could expand on this weird worshipper vs worshipee cycle, but i'm tired and i can't ramble on for too long. someone more clever than me feel free to expand)
(a post edit: peep that "fire that burns in the eyes of these people before us" vs "those eyes like fire, I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre" parallel. Vessel sacrificing himself to us, for us. Performing and being Vessel as something he cannot but feel compelled to do.)
From the Room Bellow:
"We are here to silently collect. To project ourselves onto one-another. We are here to remember. We are here to forget."
WHICH BRINGS US TO EUCLID.
No, by now The night belongs to you This bough has broken through I must be someone new
If we are to take the messages as a complement to the album, then this definitely marks the "shift" in Vessel's perspective. He CAN be more, and he NEEDS to be more. To be new.
The night does not belong to god - it belongs to US. To Him. Not just Vessel, but Him. Obviously this is all speculation, but it really feels like he's ready to let go of so many things, and move on. To renew himself, to stand up and fight. To finally "bite back". He doesn't seem to be completely changed, as there are things he still seems to hold on to (just listen to Euclid). But it´s different now. The "vicious cycle is over."
"They see something beyond their own bleak horizons. And they reach for it. Together. So let us join now."
Vessel seems to emphasize the "collectiveness" of what Sleep Token is and represents quite often. So in a way, it´s him saying "We´ve all suffered together, we've all experienced so many things together, so let us reach for something better as one. Let us all become new. You are not alone in this, and neither am I, so hold on to us and be happy."
WHICH IS!!!!! JUST!!!!!
I think this shift represents something important. My guess, like many others have said, is that Something Big is going to happen in/after Wembley. I don't know what, I don't know if it's truly the end of the road for ST, as many speculate, but something is definitely going to happen. Whatever it is, I hope this is a positive change for them, and specially Vessel, and I am just so so grateful to be part of this amazing community of ours.
(if you read the whole thing, I love you and thank you and I'm sorry. My brain was itching real bad and this had to be let out. Don't take this a proper analysis or whatever, this is me squeezing excess water off the old rag that is my mind)
#unhinged moment#damn you vessel and your cryptic messages#if it reads weird i apologize#there's a lot more i wanted to say but i forgot. the 1st draft had much better takes but alas#sleep token#sleep token vessel#sleep token worship#long post#insomnia thoughts#sleep token lore#darya is unhinged
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i would loooove to know more about the loscar helmet artist one! & the f1 driver x moto gp one too please <3
Omg one of my faves!!!
About helmet artist I'll try to be brief bc i have 5k of words written about it and i don't want to go over all of it😭😭
Logan pics up drawing in f3 bc he's bored bc of the quarantine (only digital at the time) but mostly leaves it when season properly starts
After that season his and Oscar's ways go separate directions and he picks up drawing again, his next year being so uncertain gives him a lot of time and he even gets some actual physical helmets to paint. After that he starts anonymous page for them (I'm very proud of name @ art_for_hunt for it) and start posting designs there.
He gets two seasons in f2 and one as reserve driver before getting to f1 while oscar is already there for two years. They lost all contacts in that time even, but Logan still yarns (?) For their friendship so when he sees oscar in his first race(in 2023) he starts making a helmet about their friendship. Which oscar buys almost immediately but never wears. Logan's almost forgets about whole thing but then oscar does announce it as his helmet for miami gp when they both race
It gives logan hope that their friendship still can be repaired (spoiler - it does get repaired)
And for MotoGP oscar and f1 Logan: literally got this idea today so it isn't very detailed but oscar, mark and Jenson all are riders instead of f1 drivers and mark is still his mentor. He and Logan know eachother from teenage years but not irl - they meet somewhere online (maybe a forum about racing or twt) they instantly become friends and that doesn't change throughout years. They sent eachother voice messages but don't ever show their faces bc it's nice to have something private without being judged
That's till the moment where logan goes to a MotoGP race or just some visits to Oscar's team. And the moment he hears oscar speak he goes "THE FUCK" mentally but tries to stay calm bc maybe he's just delusional. Any doubts go away the moment he starts speaking and oscar looks at him just as shocked
That is all that i have for now, thanks for asking!!!if you have any other questions I'm always happy to elaborate
#I'm extremely proud of helmet arist fic#it's in Ukrainian so probably it won't be easy to read for most ppl here but still it's longest work i ever made#also very sorry for the typos it's extremely hot here rn so I'm a bit unfocused 😭#logan sargeant#loscar#oscar piastri#ask game#i need to think MotoGP au further so bad
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TG: my thing is time yours is space TG: pretty different things
Not exactly. There are many physicists, I'm sure, who would argue that Space and Time should be one single Aspect - and I'm expecting Jade's powers to be in some way complementary to Dave's.
Come to think of it, there are several pairs of Aspects which seem complementary. Light and Void clearly evoke light and darkness, and Mind and Heart also seem dichotomous, potentially representing logic and emotion. Even Life and Doom have a life/death thing going on.
What's the opposite of Breath, then? It sort of pairs with Blood, since they're both bodily functions, but I can't comment on their symbolic relationship, since Blood is still a mystery to me. Breath too, come to think of it - most of my John analysis has been about his Class.
TG: you GET things about space i dont TG: or you will
The most obvious entry-level Space ability would be teleportation - but the Medium already is lousy with Appearifiers, Transportalizers, and portal-wielding First Guardians. It's certainly possible that Bec could teach her to teleport, but I don't know if it makes narrative sense for Jade's new power to be old news.
Perhaps, then, Jade will develop the second most obvious Space power - telekinesis.
GG: i wish i had winter clothes [...] GG: im so horribly unprepared for this…. i have never even seen snow before, can you believe that!!! [...] TG: well ive never seen it either now that i think about it
I was three years old when I first saw snow, and I don't think I'll ever forget the experience.
Guys, I know you're on the clock - or, at least, Jade is - but you deserve to take a moment here, and breath it all in. You only get one chance to see it for the first time.
GG: why dont we play in the snow later
Jade's first decision as a full-fledged Player is the best she'll ever make.
TG: im not gonna play in the snow
Translation: the next page will be a jump-cut to Dave in the snow.
TG: maybe you missed those credentials i flashed which clearly stated me being too cool for that [...] GG: i know youre joking around, you are not too cool at all, you dont even think that TG: ok
See! Even Jade knows he's full of shit.
I don't think Dave even wants to pretend he's too cool for this. His brain's on ironic autopilot at this point - but after today, he'll have IRL friends to play with, and those walls will start come down.
Yes, you heard me, Dave. Play. You're not 'hanging out' with your friends, you're not 'chilling' with them - you're playing. Let yourself be thirteen.
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It's the last "all Polin's first times we didn't see in BridgertonS3" and it's part 2 of yesterday's episode, but first let me tell you how much I cherish every single one of you. September has been incredibly difficult for me in my IRL and this little daily thing was truly the highligh of my day. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
(See you in October, we are going to have so much fun together 😈 🥵🫠)
When Pen opened the door, Devlin and Colin were already kissing. She gulped. When she accepted, she didn't know she would be so affected by her husband kissing another guy.
When they noticed her, Colin make space for her on the bed, and the next thing she knew, two sets of hands were touching her through the chemise, Colin kissing her neck, Devlin kissing her shoulder. It was overwhelming, in the best way possible.
All three of them were quick to remove clothes that seemed unnecessary, Devlin stopping to admire both of them, lost for a moment in each other.
"I feel like I'm the luckiest guy in the world to be able to assist to this," he said, sincerely, before caressing them both, making them moan.
Pen and Colin looked at each other, and on that look they understood what they wanted to do. They pushed Devlin ok his back, and then kissed him, one of each side, before going down further.
Colin didn't seem shy when they arrived at their destination. Seeing him pleasuring another man with his mouth was something she would never forget. She wondered if it was the same for him. Their tongues meeting in the middle of Devlin's pee as their hands played with each other.
The next moment, Pen was on her back, Colin in between her legs, preparing her for him as Devlin prepared Colin. She didn't know where to focus, until Colin made her shattered under his fingers as usual. Colin, who was moaning as Devlin entered him with a couple of fingers.
After that, Colin was entering in her slowly, pushing all the way in. Only then, Devlin did the same. Colin was holding her hands as he relaxed enough to let Devlin pass. She pressed kisses on his face to distract him from the discomfort, and soon they were all connected.
Finding a rhythm was tricky, but they managed. Devlin pushing inside Colin, the motion causing him to push inside Pen.
She was quickly overcomed, especially when she added her own fingers on her pearl. But the men were still going, still deep inside her, and she used the time to look at Colin in such an unusual position, praising him and feeling how good he was, how brave he was. That seemed to do the trick, making him come inside her. After a couple of thrusts, Devlin was coming as well.
After a bit of a break, the second round was all about her.
In tandem, they worship her body from head to toe. She wasn't dure she was going to survive that attack, as they both took their time on her boobs, before touching her intimately, their movement coordinating as only old friends were able to do.
They didn't make her come... Not yet. Devlin thrust in her first, making her gasp as Colin kissed her. How weird it was to have another man after Colin, how different they were, Devlin being a bit shorter but thicker. She got lost until Colin took Devlin's place, the cadence now familiar. She came two more times, before they all collapsed on the bed, a satisfied but tired trio.
Pen woke up with Colin the middle, still sleeping. Devlin is awake too.
She whispered thank you to him, at which he thanked her for the privilege of witnessing such a union.
"You know, I though love was something I could not have in my lifetime. This night... Seeing you two together... It gives me hope. When I'll find my match we have to do this again with her too, if you're amenable."
Pen smiled. The idea was fun, and if there was one man who deserve someone was Devlin.
"are you corrupting my wife?" Said Colin, looking at them both, before kissing them, first Pen and then Devlin.
"My husband, you have done that all yourself," answered Pen, making the three of them laugh.
Yes, they would have other chances to be like this. There was hope and love, for all three of them. She was certain of it.
#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#polin positivity#luke newton#nicola coughlan#polin bridgerton#polin brainrot
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Grief and Death, and how fanfic changed my life
Five years ago today, on the Summer Solstice, my mom died.
Although she'd been battling breast cancer for many years, her death was sudden and unexpected. I'll never forget the call I received from my father that evening, and the deep well of sorrow that opened up in my heart from that day forward. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her - there were even days when I picked up the phone to tell her something and I was reminded, she's not there to pick up.
But if Mom could have chosen any day to die, the solstice was the perfect one. She was bright and bold, like the first days of summer; love radiated off of her and people were drawn to her. I see her in my first summer roses, which bloom here around this time. They're red - her favorite color.
If grief was a well, then I was drowning in it for a long time. I retreated into my hobbies for escape, and that's when Attack on Titan came into my life. Watching how Levi dealt with the deaths of those around him and how he lived his life to honor them, resonated to me in such a strong way. He was hurting too.
And that's when I started writing North Star. I wanted a way to work through my grief and understand its ebbs and flows. Sure, I had people irl that helped me through it, but now, I could work through it with Levi too.
When people started reaching out to me and saying they understood the grief I wrote about and how real it felt, I felt so honored. Art is powerful - it helps us understand ourselves but also connects us with others. Through my grief, I found an art form that has done both for me.
I'm not sure why I felt compelled to write this here. Maybe nobody will read it, and that's ok. But words have become my lifeline and now, when I feel like I'm sinking in that well, I have something to lift me up.
#personal sailor#tw; death#tw; grief#death and grief#writing#summer solstice#sixpennydame north star series#aot fanfiction#levi ackerman
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♡🎀Intro Post!🎀♡
Hello♡ I am mochaaaaaaaa! I enjoy drawing, reading, writing, etc!! I use he/him pronouns!!!
🍬THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME FIRST‼️‼️🍬
🎀 • I may not always respond to your dm's immediately!!
🍰 • Art requests take VERY long, so be patient please!!
🍨 • I am a very jealous person 😞💔
🍼 • My memory is very very bad. I forget things all of the time, so I'm very sorry if I forget certain events, requests, repost or mention something I already mentioned before, things I ended up doing, etc. Please don't hesitate to remind me or correct me ❤️
I would like to warn that this blog contains very bright colors in them. Please think twice before viewing my art if you're uncomfortable or sensitive towards things that contain very bright colors in them. <3
More information about me will be below the undercut. Feel free to read! <3 🍨🍧
🎀Fandoms i'm in:🎀
☆🍼 • - Fandoms I'm mainly in
🎀 • Pink = I'm in, adore, will talk about often and/or always thinking about it often.
🥞 • Orange = I'm in. I love and adore the Fandom, but I don't really mention nor draw them as much.
🍒 • Red = Thin ice on leaving.
🍙 • Black = Left. Lost complete interest in.
🎀{☆°•♡🍰♡���♡🍨♡🍓♡🍼♡🍡♡🍧♡🎀♡🍄♡🍭•°☆}🎀
☆🍼 • , My Singing Monsters (Dawn of Fire included) , Cult of the Lamb, My little Pony (g4-g5 only), Madness Combat, and Dandy's World
🎀 • Spooky Month, Cookie Run Kingdom (Cookie Run imcluded), Plants Vs. Zombies, The Amazing Digital Circus, centaurworld, Cuphead, Bugbo, and Rayman
🥞 • Dave and Bambi (Golden Apple included)
🍒 • Odd Taxi, Guilty Gear (XX and Strive), and Pretty Blood
🍙 • Happy Tree Friends, Danganronpa, Baldi's Basics and Education and Learning, Welcome Home, Rainbow Friends, and Kaiju Paradise.
🎀Art Examples:🎀
🍡(These will be updated & changed through time <3)🍡
🎀Editing examples🎀
🍧(This will be updated & changed through time <3)🍧
🎀Other links/game info about me!🎀
🍒• Tiktok:
🍥• Youtube (quitted), but I'm planning on making a brand new channel with a brand new link to it!! 💖
🍨• Pinterest: (I don't post anything there. I will soon most likely)
🍡• Cookie Run Kingdom: ButterCreamBloom (HollyBerry server)
🍰•Discord: 👇
mochaaaaaaaa._10937
(Dm me if you want my server link)
🍧• My Singing Monsters friend code: 👇
1044323573GD
🎀Dni list / Di list:🎀
🎀Please interact:🎀
My Singing Monsters fans, , Centaurworld fans, Madness Combat fans, Rayman fans, Spooky Month fans (basically those who are interested in my interests too), people who are looking for new friends, etc.
🍼 • In addition, I'm glad to say that my blog is safe and welcoming towards everyone part of the lgbtq+ community, straight people, those with disabilities, etc. <333
🧊Thin ice:🧊
People who give unwanted tips and/or constructive criticism. I appreciate the tips but I think it's just best to to that when I say it's fine to. (If you do this, this won't make me mad at you! I'll just be a bit upset, but I'll NEVER yell or scold you because of this.) NSFW accounts (I don't care if you guys interact with my blog, just don't say overly weird things with me, or send me weird NSFW drawings, or else it's an immediate block. No explanation.) Those who say sexual jokes. (Please don't go too far. And please don't say it to my followers or friends that you don't know. You don't know if they're comfortable with this or not. If you, however, do so, then I'll just remind or tell you what you're doing. If you don't care and keep going, then it's an immediate block. No explanation.) And lastly, people who know me from school. There are some irl friends that I'm completely comfortable with seeing my art, but if I ever find out that you're someone I dislike from school sharing my drawings or socials with other friends irl, then i'll just assume that you're all making fun of me and I'm blocking all of you. Idfc.
�� • Peforming or saying these things will result in a simple warning or reminder. If you keep going, however, and/or don't care about my reminders or warnings, than it'll result in a block.
🥩Don't interact:🥩
Homophobics/Transphobics, Rasict, Ableism, People who don't respect religion, proshippers, pedophiles, etc.
🥩 • If you perform or are part of these things, then please stay a whole dimension away from me, and get a life while you're at it.
ᑦ꒰ྀིྀི ྀྀི꒱ᐣ 𓊆 𓊇 ᑦ꒰ྀིྀི ྀྀི꒱ᐣ𓊆 𓊇 ᑦ꒰ྀིྀི ྀྀི꒱ᐣ𓊆 𓊇 ᑦ꒰ྀིྀི ྀྀི꒱ᐣ𓊆 𓊇 ᑦ꒰ྀིྀི
Thank you for reading! <3🍼🍧🍡🍨🎀🍒🍥🌸
#intro post#introduction#intro blog#introductory post#blog intro#artwork#art#ibispaint art#ibispaintdrawing#STILL IN PROGRESS#transgender
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VIDCON 2024 THOUGHTS
hiii!! this will be a VERY long post detailing some of my favorite parts of attending vidcon this year! all of it will be under the cut but i'll post my main takeaway here:
i feel very fortunate to have been able to go to vidcon considering the absolute golden era of smosh that we're in! being able to meet the whole cast was amazing and something i will cherish forever.
BUT something i will cherish much more fondly is getting to meet the friends i made through watching smosh! i don't have many friends irl who watch smosh (besides me yapping about them to my partner), so finding a community online who loves them as much as i do is amazing. the fact i got to meet and hang out with them despite our distance is truly a blessing that i will never forget. for those of you reading this post, you know who you are, and i love you guys so much!!💕
thursday, 6/27 - i was so nervous i could barely sleep! not only was i going to the smosh m&g, i would also be meeting my online smosh friends for the first time irl!
- we got to watch anthony's ISADW matpat live, and it was so fun and informative! i love listening to matpat talk and shoot the shit with anthony ^^ - i watched smosh the movie for the first time while waiting in line for the smosh m&g! surprisingly funny movie (with some really cringey parts ofc lol), i'd give it a solid 6/10!
- the smosh m&g wasn't until 4:30pm but we lined up early since tommy posted on the smosh ig story that the first 25 or so people in line would get a free smosh hoodie! i did end up getting one, and it's a smosh essentials hoodie in brown (seems to be a vidcon exclusive since the website only shows a black and white version!)
- i got to meet smosh and record them on my 3ds! i've already posted the gif version of the video, but here's the version with audio! (favorite bits: spencer being amazed by my 3ds, shayne saying "impressive," ian pointing at my purple wolf socks, and damien saying i had immense aura!)
- here's another version that's a selfie! i couldn't upload the video version, but some highlights: ian going "woaahhh 3ds" and chanse recording me recording him! (my hand was so shaky lol)
- of course, my photos with the whole cast! (spencer didnt get the memo that we were supposed to be doing a cute photo afterwards LOL)
friday, 6/28 - woke up super early to make it to the smosh live: vidcon edition panel!
- my friends and i all got dressed as characters from "that damn neighbor," and i got to be their cletus! we were even featured on the smosh ig story ^^
- we got a shoutout during the panel! it was so awesome for them to recognize us and dub us as "the neighborhood!" - THEY ASKED MY QUESTION FOR IAN AT THE PANEL!! i was lowkey freaking out and i loved the response he gave! also, i submitted another question for ian that said "has anyone say next to you at lunch yet?" (my other two friends got their questions for trevor and angela answered as well!!) - we rushed over to the smosh mouth live panel right afterwards (for those wondering what the panel was about, they talked about boobs lol)
saturday, 6/29 - went to hank and john green's panel, they're really funny and it was cool to see the two people who taught me science and history growing up lol
- we were heading to mari's m&g and got surprised by all of ogsog being there! i almost teared up in front of mari just connecting to her as one of the only WOC i watched growing up in the early days of youtube ^^
- we made it to the live "hotdog is a sandwich" panel for mythical kitchen! the whole cast was there and they were super funny ^^
so yeah. vidcon was so fun and i was very fortunate to meet my childhood heroes. i love my friends and i love smosh <3
#there are too many things to tag!!#anyways i love you guys#thanks for making vidcon awesome <3#smosh#smosh vidcon#vidcon#vidcon 2024#my gifs#sammie thoughts
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Hello it is I, random anon who does not know you and has never interacted with you before, what is your opinion of your mutuals?
Oh hi @bixell-pixell I'll include you even if we're not mutuals I think you're pretty chill all things considered
That's kinda it idk you that well
Anyways
You didn't specify so I'm going to list all my mutuals in the order of oldest to newest on my following page that I remember sorry of I missed anyone and for the @ s
*inhales*
@e-the-village-cryptid (I don't have a tag for e yet but it would probably just be E)
Not only the first person who I became friends with here but also the first one I ever started sharing my stories with, even if we don't talk too much I'm glad Every time we do and I see them on my dash, (they bring some of my favorite posts and when I do send posts sometimes I mix up and send them their own reblogs) I'm so glad we're still friends, thanks for letting me ramble about stuff for 6 hours hehe
@jaqofallgenders (no tag for jaq yet either)
my in person friend and the longest friendship I've ever had with someone, love you 🫶. I'll be more specific on Monday if our ADHD doesn't kick in and make us both forget
@strawberry-seal77 (seal-berry!!!)
Hi hi hi yellows my friend 👋 the person I consider to be the second ever friend I made on here, a lovely person as well and wait waaa and an amazing artist too 👀??? Love you silly goofball and the amazing posts and jokes you have we should chat more often I thinkith.
@rabid-mercenary16 (Rabid jumpscare)
Hey hey hey .... BWAMP! Hope you feel better soon
I probably have the most to say about Rabid but all try to make it a bit shorter. besides being the first artist to do art jokes and include me, with we also became mutuals and interacting around a time when my life started to get a lot better. Even if she's not the only factor in that I definitely associate her with stuff improving, and she did play a big factor in it (I already explained a lot on my Valentine's Day gift to her and the others). Also she's just an awesome person to spend time with and be goofy, amazing sense of humor and I just love being friends with such an awesome person and artist.
@dia-smthidk (Dia fren)
I'm assuming you don't want a bowl of soup
I also said a lot about them in my Valentine's Day gift, but we've become closer friends sense then even if we don't get to chat as much as I'd like to. I relate a lot and am surprised how we have so much in common. Amazing artist and person as well and I wish we could hang out more, idc if they think they're bringing down the mood when/if they bring stuff up about irl, and maybe I won't figure out their timezone but oh well, please take care of yourself gender sibling.
@bunnybunnsowo (BUN BUN BROTHER!!)
little brother 🫶🫶💝💞🫶✨👋❤️!!!
(I could have sworn we became mutuals before Dia?)
another person I shared a lot about with the Valentine's Day gift, I love you my little brother! Seriously one of the kindest people I've met and I'm so glad they have bug in his life. Bun deserves the world and they keep sending me opposum images!!! Gona die from cuteness and his kindness one of these days istg
@spookykittyzzz (greaah why don't I have a tag for you???)
A very kind person and artist I don't know too much sense we're not that close yet but love the few chats we have had so far. Hope we get to hang out more even if I'm awful at reaching out to others and saying hi.
@glitchyk (goop buddies)!!
Nooo the parallels
One of the first people who was interested to deep dive into my creations and ask about my stories and worlds They're probably competing with Rabid with how much I have to say about her/silly. Seriously it's incredible how much we have in common and now I get to share and collaborate our sonas stories together it's amazing. And as someone once said "you can yap for hours". I love how creative and clever they are, I just wish they would be kinder to herself. One day I'll make glichy see how awesome she is.
@unfunnyaceartist (Floridian disadvantage) I feel like I should change that
When I say I was shookith when ace asked to be friends I mean I was shookith first person so show up and ask that (the others kinda just happened). Amazing artist and don't believe her lies she is funny. I'm so heckn glad we're friends., love the goofy and silly idc if she's a bit of a simp they've helped me a lot start to understand slang and references I'm supposed to understand shhshsh (such is the curse of how I grew up) we need to make our mafia sonas interact at some point I can already imagine the chaos /silly
@neptunestoast (plushy slime)
Hugs hugs hugs*
Trying my best not to baby talk I swear. amazing person first person to show up and be like "hey I Wana do something for you and your friends". Love their humor and another gender sibling!!! Hugs for ever for as long as they're ok with it. I love their creativity as well and Noodle is so adorable. I just want to pick them up in a hug so much. Kibbity/silly
@ner5y (no tag woops ill figure something out)
What are you doing here??? How are we friends???
I was absolutely confused and startled when they followed me especially since it was during a spoons argument . Amazing artist like holy heck I wish I was allowed to curse on this blog. Their humor also took me by surprise when I got invited to the discord, and even if they doubt how well they're running it I think they're doing amazing. And I love our silly interactions like this one
@vexation-816 (chaotic ADHD buddy!!!)
Why did it take me so long to follow you istg
ADHD ADHD ADHD my buddy oh pal we both got that and it's driving us insane/silly. Love how creative he is and the ideas for his sona and character lore. Also one of the first people who shared a character they added to my nightlight au. This is getting twords the end and I'm tired of whiting so much and am on a timer oh no. But your amazing dude don't ever forget thag
@butlerbugbunny (anxiety bunny buddy)
This is why I didn't respond to the DM yet hshsh
New friend who I feel anxious talking to sometimes but a wonderful kind bunny who I'm also incredibly happy to be friends with. Love his art so much it's amazing (shoot shoot timer is going off) I'm glad he's their for bun and wish them the best I possibly can 🫶.
@lilithloves-you (lillith my be-loathed?) need to change that
Don't you dare bring up grilled cheese
Glitchys friendo who I'm also friends with now. We don't interact too much but I've sent her on missions to go hug glitchy (to help both of them feel better but shhh). I hope we become closer friends in the future.
#god this is a lot anyways im off to the store now#mutuals#E#seal-berry#Rabid jumpscare#bun bun brother#dia fren#goop buddies#Floridian disadvantage#plushy slime#anxiety bunny buddy#Lilith my be-loathed?
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Took a sleeping pill a couple hours ago and I'm about to fall asleep from them, so excuse anything off in this, but I needed to share lmao
Sleepy and horny, you know what time it is, sexual rant about my girlfriend LMAO.
Sometimes, I just think about the first time we fucked on call cause like. I really think I can get that reaction irl. And it was SOOOO hot on the phone.
Like, I will never forget how wet she was. Like. She said "it's not usually like this" and I'm just fucking staring at her dripping for me.
And I'll also never forget the first time I heard her moan. Because I got lucky, and she didn't have to be quick or quiet our first time.
I remember like. God. Every little gasp or moan or hitch in her breath. I think about the way she looked at me. I remember the way that she told me she hadn't been that hard since she started E. I remember the look on her face when she came.
I also remember the first time I realized she matched her pace to mine. And I remember the first time I called her out for it.
I can't wait till she's here and I can make her fucking feel it all in person.
When I touch her, I think I can make her go crazy with it.
She responds to me like that from a distance, and I can only imagine how it'll be irl.
I also. Heh. I think about something she said to me, which makes me think that she's gonna fucking cum sooooo quickly our first time.
It makes me wanna think about going over and over and over again for our first time.
See how many times each of us can come.
I will say, I'm actually pretty glad that it seems our first time will be just us? I kinda want that,,,,
Idk. I wanna have her all to myself the first time I fuck her.
I wanna be able to focus entirely on her and drive her crazy all by myself the first time.
I can't decide, but I think I wanna top her for the first time. I don't think she can bring her strap, which sucks cause I'd love that the first time, but I will absolutely top her if I want to.
But also, it's soooo tempting for her to fuck me face. Either first, before fucking me, or just in general.
I gotta sleep now, but fuck I'm kinda hoping I have a really horny dream about her tonight.
I said this last long horny rant, but feel free to sue me if you don't like my hot t4t sex posts lmao.
Loser :p
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A Late Hello to 2024
It's been a hot minute since my last journal post so I'm feeling particularly inspired to write one up. It's 2024 and a lot's been going on irl between school and activism. So taking a moment to chill out on the blog is therapeutic.
Finals are next week and I'm looking forward to having those out the way so I can just enjoy a break and chill out. At least in terms of academics before the Fall semester starts up. Because of school, I haven't been as active with spirit work as I would like outside of my core group of spirits that I spend most of my time with. Same with astral travel, lately I've really only been going to my astral home.
I love the place, don't get me wrong. It's full of my favorite people but I do miss the days where I pretty much did nothing but astral to different places. So this summer, with the excess free time I will have, I will use that extra time to do more astral travel.
For one, visiting pop culture worlds more often is on the list.
For me personally, as long as you can inherently distinguish and separate the character from the show vs the entity you're meeting astral-wise, there's nothing wrong with dabbling in pop culture astral travel. It's not fair to put those expectations onto the entity you've met. And if you don't think you could handle those expectations being met, then you definitely shouldn't do it either. That aside, through the astral I've befriended an Orihime Inoue and she's a real gem! I don't see her often but maybe I'll plan a visit soon once finals have come and gone.
And I think I'll visit a different location and see what happens. Nothing too crazy, I want to enjoy whatever I see.
I also want to start interacting with different types of entities I've always had an interest in but have never taken the plunge into reaching out. It's time to expand the horizons, complacency is my biggest opp. I hate complacency, I always want to stay learning.
That aside some crazy shenanigans have happened recently but since that is something private to my path, I won't be talking about it here on this blog. But it was definitely a very unique event that I won't be forgetting about. I'll be working hard to hone my craft even further now that this event has transpired and I look to seeing where my skills are a year from now in death witchery.
I'll be working even more closely with the death fae in my life because of it.
Speaking of death fae, I think I'll be making another one of my mini introspective reflection posts soon. This time about how I feel I've changed or grown since working with banshees. In terms of number, the species I work with most often are selkies, floral demons and banshees so reflecting on my experiences working with all three of them is something I'd like to do.
I've done so with the first two, now it's the turn for the third.
I mentioned it before in my faerie witchcraft post, but your experience as a faerie witch/fae worker really is going to be quite unique to you. Your relationship with the fair folk will look different from fae workers A & B depending on the type of relationship you have with the faeries in your life, the type of faeries you typically interact with, if you stick to the fae local to your area or if you go out of your way to interact with fae that normally don't frequent your locale.
I tend to stick with selkies and banshees tied at no. 1 with dullahan as a close second, so that's a bit of an interesting mix I think. It honestly works wonders for avoiding fae politics. Selkies, in my experience, tend to not be affiliated with any Court and death fae tend to be far removed from it as well. It's drama free which is how I like my spirit work to be.
I've talked extensively in my selkie post and probably a few asks I've gotten in the past concerning selkies, that I think selkies are quite great prospective friends to have in your life because of their family-oriented 'once you're in, you're in' mindsets... but I also think that death faeries make great friends as well.
They understand the cycle of life and death very well and because of this, they cherish those they associate with and call their companions dearly. I think it's a very rewarding experience, I look forward to getting my mini introspective on banshees posted. I'll wait til some time after finals.
And just because I can toss this in here at the last minute, here's a bit of an altar pic. To be honest when it comes to spell work, I just go to my dresser and whip out what I need but I do have a miniature altar tucked away on a book shelf I have.
I have the deer vertebrae and leg for literal bones but I have a seashell (a bone of the sea) and a pretty stone I found (a bone of the earth). It's nice, it's simple, and I'm fond of it. It's nothing fancy compared to some of the posts you'll see of altars but I like the one I came up with and that's all that matters.
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Ch 42: As Long as They Don't Forget
They call him Captain Puppy Eyes
Did she atone by founding the Sunflower Nursery??
Andy tells her to pour Anheuser beer on his crew's graves to find forgiveness, and Fuuko sets out alongside him. He claims that he wants to make the saloon woman suffer, but Fuuko sees another side to his motivation. And then we get:
🐎COWBOY ANDY MONTAGE🐎
We see the four seasons representing the passage of time between them. In the first one, they're both shooting at a group of normal-looking old-timey Western guys. In the second, they're walking through the desert.
In the third, there's falling leaves and an angel in the background. It looks like they've got a child fighting with them. They're fighting two guys wearing suits and masks that resemble the Union Negator hunters from Chapter 1. The angel doesn't quite match up with the statue in the chapel in Longing, either. I'm so curious about this one!!
Angel comparison:
In the fourth, Andy has buried a friend in the wintertime. There are two other people dressed like Andy and Fuuko.
I love the way the narration boxes explain Fuuko's POV here. Describing the time as eons that passed quickly, like a dream, both rich and deep but also instantaneous--- that's a lot like the effect authors want to create when writing a good flashback.
We see some crumbs about Andy's current crew, and that he's drinking a Budweiser, which came out in 1876 IRL.
Andy and Fuuko's conversation about death raises some questions about Victor. When he's being suppressed, is he "alive?" Can you be alive if you can't challenge? If you can't change?
We see how Andy's crew formed. When they met him, everyone was wearing tattered clothes and looking like they were just in a battle. I'll bet Andy helped them out and then they started following him like Fuuko.
Fuuko tells him that she believes people who have passed remain alive in our hearts and talks about how she feels her parents guiding her.
Andy knows that he won't be alone anymore and he smiles. And then all readers collectively gasp at the next page:
FIRST OF ALL, {ohrwepo%9Ksd46<2[LJS:Fqj3nq4rwe^isdfah!
I can't believe it! The realest, non-battle-related, most solemn and serious moment of major romance, and they still don't kiss!
And she's right-- It's not really the same person and he doesn't really know her as well as she knows him at this point.
The line, "As long as I don't forget, then people won't die" is impactful to this story in so many ways.
First, Juiz has to remember to find people every loop. If she forgets to how to seek out the Negators or forgets who they are, she'll waste opportunities to defeat God.
Second, what does it mean when the story seals off Victor's memories? Are those memories "dead?"
Third, Andy has to remember Fuuko so he can find her in the future.
Also, Andy/Victor serves as a "witness" to the story to remember all the people and events that have happened. If they forget, they'll be missing valuable information that can help everyone.
In one way, it's really sweet that Andy now has a philosophy that he never really has to say goodbye to people bc they live on as long as he remembers them. But in another sense, it's horrifically tragic bc he's already forgotten so much. Everyone from before April 15, 1865 is dead to him, in all senses of the word.
What was the reason she began to fade away? Was it because she told him she loved him? Because he smiled? Because they almost kissed? And what will she find at the next stop in the book?
Masterpost
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